What Men Really Mean
"It's a guy thing."
"There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no
chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"
"Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
It's a conditioned response.
"It would take too long to explain."
"I have no idea how it works.
"We're going to be late."
"Now I have a legitimate
excuse to drive like a maniac."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear."
"Are you still talking?"
"It's a really good movie."
"It's got guns, knives,
fast cars, and beautiful women."
"That's women's work."
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
"You know how bad my memory is."
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop',
the address of the first girl
I ever kissed and
the Vehicle Identification Numbers
of every car I've ever owned,
but I forgot your birthday."
"I was just thinking about you,
and got you these roses."
"The girl selling them on the corner
was a real babe."
"Oh, don't fuss.
I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
"I have actually severed a limb,
but will bleed to death before
I admit I'm hurt."
"Hey, I've got my reasons
for what I'm doing."
"...And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I can't find it."
"It didn't fall right into
my outstretched hands,
so I'm completely clueless."
"What did I do this time?"
"What did you catch me at?"
"I heard you."
"I haven't the foggiest clue
what you just said,
and am hoping desperately that
I can fake it well enough so
that you don't spend the
next 3 days yelling at me."
"You know I could never love anyone else."
"I am used to the way you yell at me,
and realize it could be worse."
"You look terrific."
"Oh, God, please don't try on
one more outfit. I'm starving."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
"No one will ever see us alive again."
"We share the housework."
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."