First Date

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope
You're sitting down when you read it. This is
Probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
Not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the
Cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most
Embarrassing first date that a woman ever had
The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale
Took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...
Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken
Her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake
City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They
Were strangers, after all, and truly had never
Met before. The outing was fun but relatively
Uneventful until they were headed home late that
Afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when
She gradually began to realize that she should
Not have had that extra latte. They were about an
Hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
Middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try
To hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and
Slow going, there came a point where she told him
That he had better stop and let her go beside the
Road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the
Car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep
Snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt
Rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her
Companion stood on the side of the car watching for
Traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and
Refrained from peeking. All she could think about
Was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing
Nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of
Another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants,
The young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly
Glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came
To mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from
The icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a
Brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified
By her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment,
She answered her date's concerns about "what is taking
So long" with a reply that indeed she was "freezing her
Her butt off" and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself
With her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly
Into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the
Giggles and when they finally managed to compose
Themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation
Was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both
Agreed it would take something hot to free her
Chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the
Predicament in the first place, both quickly
Realized that there was only one way to get her
Free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-
Time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee
Her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the
Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that
Should be "pants down."

And you thought your first date was embarrassing!

Oh, and how did the first date turn out?
He became her husband and was sitting next to her on
The Leno show.

 


 

 

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