THINGS TEXANS KNOW
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.( Same
hold true of an Armallo (Diller)
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas,
plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. 'JawL-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'
8. People actually grow and eat okra.and black-eyed peas.
9. 'Fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it
when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backards and forards means 'I know everything about you.'
13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it
is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony's, Tabasco and
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page,
but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, and
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as 'goin'
Wal-Martin' or off to Wally-World.
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew or
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If'n our mama says we can drive, we
can drive dag-gummit.
31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Texas friends and
those who just wish they were from Texas