Letter from Emma Lou

Mary Jane,

You wouldn't know the truth if'n it whopped ya up sida yur hed.

Furst of all, lady, ya can call me all the names ya wont ta cuz name callen is what ya do best, accordin to tha other church ladies.

They all kep a good eye on ya girl. nun of them cud trust ya. They stil dun't.

Ya is always a givin' the eye to all the men. Ya neva has helped at eny of the church socials, ya is to buzy a chasin everbodys man.

Lisa thot ya was her frend till she done come home erly from werk one night and done caut ya with her man. Charlie wuz tied to a char an justa beggin to get away.

Lisa still wont's to know what was a goin' on in thet hed of yurn. I sed it culdn't be too dern much cuz old Doc Franklin dun sed when he was checkin' yer ears he dun told ya to put yer finger ina the other ear so the light wuldn't shine thru the other ear & ya dun did it. Must be perty empty betwine thos ears of yurn.

You done tol Lisa ya come over to borry some suga, right!

The only suga ya dun want ta borry is her man. Ya cant keep one a yer own as they all die from ya workin em' to deth.

I mabe cant spel, girl, but my man dun sed I was the nicest woman he eber been with and he done ben with a lot of em.

Ifn' yur husbunds died hapy, than they musta ben wif anuther wemen when they passed on cuz, thatsa the only wey they would ofa ben heppy.

Why do ya think eberyona them drank themselbes to deth?

It wasn’t becuze ya was sech a perty prise.

To of um wuz durn yer starven to deth. They sed ya culdnt cook wurth a durn.

An anuther thang, I ain't tryin' to impres no grocer man. Ta onley man I need ter impres isa my man and he dun sed I was the bery best.

The church weman don sed they hav tried ta be frends but ya isnt intressed ina being frends with no wemen.

Ya is jus to busy lookin' fer anuther man to cetch.

Well, I dun sed enuff. I em surry ifn' I hurt yer feelins but ya jus gotta quit thet sneekin' arund wif all ofa the other ladies husbunds.

We has jus about hed enuff an we plannin' a litter surprize fer ya girl... jus ya wait an see. Yer willa be bery surry ya ever messed wiff our men.

Will be talkin' ta ya agin. Ya can bea countin on it.

Emma Lou

P.S. Someones gotta look out fer Billyjoe Bob cuz Carolyn is way to buzy wif her yung uns. So I guess it be me woo hasta look out fer him cuz she don be my bery bes frend fer many a yer now. I ain't a gonna let no hussy lika ya mess wif him fo shur.

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