Well now hey ther Carolyn. I bees thankin bout ya an wuz wandrin ifin ya mite lack sum hep from yer ole fren, Crazy Leggs?
I wuz thankin maybe wes needs ta tech dat man of yurns how ta act! Howz bout we get him out dare in them woods and take him snipe huntin? We culd get us one of them dare bats an sted of beaten da sak with it, maybe we autta beat sum sense inta dat dead beet old fart! How dare him go messin round with them women! Boy, it jest makes my blood turn green....I mean he needs ta be taut a good lesson....dont cha thank?
Coarse we needs to be keepin all quiett cuz infin sumbody dun found aut den we mite jest find Rselves in prezen fer a lonnng time. Ya nos wat I meens? Now We jest betta git awl da details figyurned aut fore we do anythang. Mabe i will blanket up ole Sid an ride em ova to cuzin wayn an c ifin hez got sum idies... wil let ya no sumthin soone.
buy da way, Kuzzin Wayne dun gon of n marred sum ole gal frum clear cross da udder sied of Kentuky..magin dat?
She aint much on luker, butt shes got dem dere bowl leggs and her har looks lack dem chiken been layin eggs in her har fer weks. whoo whee....but kuzzin Wayne sade she's shore nos how ta danc an kin cook dem strwbury pies!
one mor thang... I wuz thanin ifin ya hyde dat licker bottle ya mite keep yur feller hom bit longur but ifin dat bees the kase den you dun stuk with havin em dare shoutin out ordurs all da day long. mmm maybe ya shuld owta jest pat hem on da bakside n send hm on off hez way.
recken i best shut down dis kontraptun n git bizzy---- [dey tails me ets a kompewter] u mite lik won...its gots buttuns an a thang kawled a mous. Ill tells ya bout it nuther tim.
 byee frum Crazy Leggs 

Redneck Poetry Shelfİ
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